A BLONDE IN A BIKINI SELLING HER STUFF

So I'm ~officially~ moving to California soon and need y'all to buy some crap! I'm not selling clothes or shoes because I'm gonna donate those to charity-that way those who knew me here will eventually see homeless people dressed like me walking around the city and that will make them really sad and then they will cry :)

upd8

I already told y'all I've lost my creativity but I maybe haven't said anything about my new #big #news-more details to cum this weekend, now I've gotta go out and show off my hair.

do y'all even check this blog anymore

The funny thing about blogging is you only begin to do it in hopes of someone eventually noticing you and giving you work in magazines/television so that you can stop blogging for yourself [for free] and use your blog-ideas to make money and reach the public [get famouz]. But the funny thing about that is by the time you've achieved those goals you realize the only cool things you ever did were in your blog before people noticed you. And then you feel like a failure for only being able to blog about this new work you have, which you were dreaming of having back then, but is in a way keeping you from reaching that original #genius you had without it? :( Anyway here's this and I'm gonna go cry under my bed over my lost creativity and lack of ideas.

MEXICANS HOTMAIL DOT COM

Did y'all watch my tv show last night? Neither did I. But that's ok because you can still watch the online edition! This week I'm giving oral sex advice aka don't do it because one cum shot has 90 calories #unacceptable



PS: The best part is the english closed-captioning generated by Youtube aka Lady Gaga ft. Pharrell:

PPS: I'm back from my ~holidays~ and ready to start spamming y'all about my life and my new tan etc so stay tuned ok ilu xoxo

FAKING WITH TEA

IF YOU'RE HAVING EYE PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, SON

 I've got 99 problems but missing my tv show ain't one.

Just kidding, it totally is.

It's pretty tragic chic that I missed the premiere of my show last week via being in London and I missed the second episode last night via being in Sardinia and will miss next week's episode because I'll be in the hospital getting reconstructive surgery to fix this sunburn. Anyway who needs to watch their show when their mother can just stream it from America and send the screen shots via Gmail?

I'll be back to blogging as usual in like a week, y'all, I was just kinda busy filming before and now I'm super busy hanging out in five-star hotels, 

Instagramming my #thighgap, 

 

getting food poisoning

and being ~in love~

Anyway watch my show y'all pleaz on la3 every Thursday night at 11:30 because maybe your screen shots will beat Mom's! Love y'all, miss y'all, but not very much x

MY ITALIAN IS BAD BUT MY HAIR IS SO GOOD

Hey Y'all! My show premiered last night and I was too nervous to watch it so instead I just made my parents live-stream it and update me on how cute I look or whatevz via text messages but anyway along with the show I'm doing an online edition based on each episode, and here's the first one! Enjoy and stay tuned for new TV and web episodes each Thursday!!